Day One - Wake Up Call

An exciting day and this is the beginning of my honest and painful journey.

I am 38 years old, 20 weeks pregnant and weigh 119 kilos (262 pounds). I have put on 25 kilos (55 pounds)in this pregnancy (my third), onto a 175cm frame (5 foot 9) that was already too heavy.

I am tired, miserable and ashamed of myself. I have not been so obese my whole adult life- up and down and always struggling. I have had some periods of great fitness (running 20-30kms a week) and some periods of great sloth. The last two years have seen my weight steadily creep up (before pregnancy) from 80 kilos to 95 kilos.

I can easily see myself hitting 130 kilos (286 pounds) in the next 10 weeks due to overeating and it scares and embarrasses me so much. I can´t let that happen to myself. I know I am pregnant and I have a baby to look after inside me, however eating in a balanced and healthy way, there should be enough fat on my body for the next nine weeks.

So from today, I begin cutting down in a healthy way on my food intake. Of course, dieting when pregnant is not recommended, however I am at the point where I am so afraid and depressed, I have to take control.

I will most likely be having a C-section (my 3rd) in nine weeks and need to be in a better place by then.

So, my plan is:

Body - walking every day, for more than the usual saunter to the corner shop.

Food - cut out the "white stuff", sugar and excess fat.

Soul - look after the way I look, take pride in my appearance (lost), keep hair and makeup routine going, moisturize my body, shave my legs, get a pedicure.

I have to do this somewhat anonymously so I can be honest, however I am an English speaking expat living in Germany.

My aim is to go to hospital in nine weeks weighing 120 kilos and lose 10 kilos with the birth (I did before). 110 won´t be so bad to start with :))

Any comments or encouragment would be much appreciated!