Busy days...

Busy days with my kids home for a weeks holiday, so I seem to be on the move more than usual- that is good! Also trying very hard not to overeat while coping with the slight extra stress of having the kids at home. Its a little more chaotic and messy of course!

I made a huge pot of vegetable soup with lentils and barley for dinner tonight- and for tomorrow. I made enough for quite a few helpings, so my plan is to eat this tomorrow and again lots of fruit.

One of my slight worries at the moment is gestational diabetes.....I don´t have it as far as I know and didn´t with the last two pregnancies, however I have to go for a oral glucose tolerance test for it on Wednesday - recommended by my doctor due to my weight and also the fact that I have had two big babies before- 4.5 kilos and 5 kilos! However, I really hope to get a clean bill of health next week, I would feel dreadfully guilty if my obesity caused a problem for my baby :(.

Next week I also have two other appointments- a meeting with a midwife and also a special ultrasound as well to check on the baby´s size. Will blog more as they occur. However, due to these three appointments and having my blood pressure taken, blood sugar etc, I want to be extra healthy this weekend in case in makes any difference.

Pancake Tuesday

This is the remains of the pancakes (crepe style) I made with my kids. Oops, I ate too much and certainly this is a "white flour" good. It was a tiring day too and my choices were not good. Yet, for my children it was a memorable experience especially as Miss 7 helped with the cooking and ended up in charge of the frypan.

When I went shopping today I bought a lot of fruit, so will make a big effort tomorrow to drink lots of water and eat fruit.

I think I will weigh in every Monday just to keep a check on my weight, though of course it is not going to go down for a while yet.

This is just a short post, I am tired (entertaining, even when it is just one good friend, tires me out) and I have´t drunken enough water today. A few glasses, a hot bath and an early bed will do me the world of good.

Day One - Wake Up Call

An exciting day and this is the beginning of my honest and painful journey.

I am 38 years old, 20 weeks pregnant and weigh 119 kilos (262 pounds). I have put on 25 kilos (55 pounds)in this pregnancy (my third), onto a 175cm frame (5 foot 9) that was already too heavy.

I am tired, miserable and ashamed of myself. I have not been so obese my whole adult life- up and down and always struggling. I have had some periods of great fitness (running 20-30kms a week) and some periods of great sloth. The last two years have seen my weight steadily creep up (before pregnancy) from 80 kilos to 95 kilos.

I can easily see myself hitting 130 kilos (286 pounds) in the next 10 weeks due to overeating and it scares and embarrasses me so much. I can´t let that happen to myself. I know I am pregnant and I have a baby to look after inside me, however eating in a balanced and healthy way, there should be enough fat on my body for the next nine weeks.

So from today, I begin cutting down in a healthy way on my food intake. Of course, dieting when pregnant is not recommended, however I am at the point where I am so afraid and depressed, I have to take control.

I will most likely be having a C-section (my 3rd) in nine weeks and need to be in a better place by then.

So, my plan is:

Body - walking every day, for more than the usual saunter to the corner shop.

Food - cut out the "white stuff", sugar and excess fat.

Soul - look after the way I look, take pride in my appearance (lost), keep hair and makeup routine going, moisturize my body, shave my legs, get a pedicure.

I have to do this somewhat anonymously so I can be honest, however I am an English speaking expat living in Germany.

My aim is to go to hospital in nine weeks weighing 120 kilos and lose 10 kilos with the birth (I did before). 110 won´t be so bad to start with :))

Any comments or encouragment would be much appreciated!