Kind of lost the plot this week- I´m over 91 again

...struggling with moving stress and trying to make sense of life! We are one day into the two day move and then I have four full days before I fly to Australia. Four days to organise lots of paperwork, clothes, packing stuff, say goodbye to friends, buy presents for teachers, clean the apartment, tie up loose ends etc etc!

I did regain control today, which makes me proud- at least I know that I can get back on the wagon when I fall off.

Stay tuned for me getting below 9-0 kilos soon! X

90.6 kilos Photos....

I am not fishing for comments, but as discussed in my previous post, I look at these photos and think ergh. 16 kilos (or more) of flab to go.

Time for new progress photos

I will get my daughter to take some photos later today :), its definitely time since the last ones which were 7 kilos ago.

It´s funny and I don´t know if anyone else feels this way but when I look at myself in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window, I actually think I look ok (!, hey babe!) and then when I see photos of myself I feel that I look so ugly, so fat. Somehow the photos seem to capture my worst fat- millisecond... I am going out tomorrow night with friends and there will be lots of snap happy people there who want to put photos on facebook and I am going to do my best to avoid the cameras, just to avoid shattering any illusion I may have of myself "looking good". There is one guy in particular who has an SLR camera and likes taking close up shots of people and I am going to just have to tell him no!!

Is it wrong that I want to retain the image in my head of myself and not be confronted by a photo of the reality?

199 pounds!

That´s a nice milestone that I reached this week - and so close to being under 90 kilos- for me, this is going to be important in my mind- I think I will feel less "fat"- crazy though as I already know that I am less fat from the way my clothes fit. I am wearing a lot of summer clothes that I haven´t worn for three years- the clothes I wore in 2008 when I was putting on weight (a lot of it), not the clothes from 2006/07 when my weight was in the 70 kilos range- but I still have all those clothes :)

I don´t believe in getting rid of small clothes - I couldn´t afford to! I am donating the fat clothes now to charity- all the maternity wear is gone as well... but as money is tight, I am very glad to have a range of sizes now to choose from as I go down... It´s great discovering old favourites again and things I forgot I had- I love shopping my wardrobe!

I will be interested to see if my foot size changes at all after another 16 kilos- or maybe still same size, but just less puffy.

91.1 today- I love watching the numbers topple.

Stress, combined with lots of errands to run and a heat wave here in Munich (over 30 everyday) is melting the weight-- fat? off me. Somedays I feel like the incredible shrinking woman, though I am still eating- I have three children to look after after all.

I just can´t eat very much and seemingly after months of being low carb, I automatically eat right and don´t crave sugar. My focus at the moment is on the things I have to do, not what I am going to eat next. It´s not a bad place to be in really...

In 3 weeks time I will be in Australia on holiday and finally able to relax. Until then, I am going to do right by myself- eating right, sleeping and very little alcohol.

91.9 this morning

So close to being under 90- I can almost taste it! Also very very close to the under 200 pounds barrier.

I am very busy with moving house at the moment so that is accounting for a lot more movement and less food eaten- my to-do list is long enough to ensure that I don´t sit still for a minute...!

I am hoping for a fantastic last three weeks of July which will see me under 90 for my trip overseas on the 1st of August. I have already ordered fruit and vegetable platters for the plane trip on Emirates so I don´t get bloated on over salted food during the trip!

92.8 Summer in the City...

I am down again after heroic efforts eating and moving well - yes, its heroic!, it is always going to be a struggle for me.

However, I have realised more than ever that I need to be a good role model to my kids by maintaining a healthy weight. my eight year daughter was starting to get very plump recently- she is a tall girl anyway (the tallest in her class) and she didn´t need to look like a 12 year old who was going to develop any moment :(. It happened gradually over the last 8 months- too much TV and too many treats.

Menstruation can be bought on early by increased weight apparently as well. Additionally I feel guilty for being overweight during pregnancy (all 3 of them) because now I read it can cause obesity in the child/adult and also infertility- all from being obese during the baby´s growth :(

So, I am working with my daughter towards healthier eating - and more exercise. I have told her I don´t want her to get teased. Maybe I am doing the wrong thing, but I didn´t feel I could just leave it to chance - Mummy needs to be a good role model.

July 1st 93.6

Weight holding steady more or less- but I want loss!!

I leave for holidays on August 1st - I want to be well under 90 by then- need to really kick up the physical movement and also the commitment to good food and drink. I actually think that I need to stop drinking (gasp!) - I go out once a week only with my friends, however it seems to set me back days each time- a few drinks, late night eating and all in all its just not good for me.

I have a commitment on July 24th as of now (engagement party) and also maybe one this Saturday (long time no seen friend). Otherwise its really stay home and be extra good for me.

We are moving as well- I need to have the whole house packed up by July 31st- crazy hey? 3o days to go!