Day 6

Day 6 of the new me is going well, in that I am staying strong... however I have not been sleeping well the last few days. A lot going on in my head and my baby wakes me at 2am and I stay awake till 5am, before dropping off to sleep before my alarm at seven.... so about 5 hours sleep a night lately, which is not making me happy. Plus I know lack of sleep is a factor in weight gain (and perhaps against weight loss!)

Its hard when I want food to comfort me, I could easily devour a block of sea salt chocolate or a packet of white choc and macadamia cookies dipped in tea....

However last night when I was feeling miserable, I ate a banana and focused on this point from yesterday: Talk down your urges Learn responses to involuntary thoughts: eating that will only satisfy me temporarily; eating this will make me feel trapped; I'll be happier and weigh less if I don't eat this.

Long time..

As you may have guessed, if I am not posting I am not losing... I don´t know why I keep falling off the wagon. I know I don´t come in and update my blog as I feel unmotivated and ashamed of myself. My weight has gone up to plus 102 in the last 6 weeks, however today I weighed in at 98 kilos or 216 pounds.

However, I got back on the wagon last Thursday finally!

Since then I have been on a semi vegetable juice fast with the odd bit of raw food thrown in, nuts and cheese (in small amounts).

I am trying to smoke out food intolerances, allergies and my burgeoning need to eat. I have been bingeing a lot the last six weeks- sweet things mostly or bread and butter. Therefore, I have decided to cut them out for now.

The juice fast is making me tired, but after being mid way through day four, I feel strong with it and determined.

I am changing my diet and life from the ground up- it´s my scorched earth theory.

As an added bonus, I read an article today that reinforced so much of my thoughts about my food addiction: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/mar/13/obesity-salt-fat-sugar-kessler

And this is what I took away:

"How to take back control

Plan when and what you will eat There should be no room for deviation; the idea is to inhibit mindless eating and eliminate your mental tug-of-war. Once you've set new patterns, you can become more flexible.

Practise portion control Eat half your usual meal; see how you feel one and two hours later. A just-right meal will keep away hunger for four hours.

List the foods and situations you can't control Cut out those foods; limit exposure to those situations. If offered something you overeat, push it away.

Talk down your urges Learn responses to involuntary thoughts: eating that will only satisfy me temporarily; eating this will make me feel trapped; I'll be happier and weigh less if I don't eat this.

Rehearse making the right choices Before entering a restaurant, imagine chosing a dinner that's part of your eating plan. Think of this as a game against a powerful opponent. You won't win every encounter, but with practice you can get a lot better."