Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Kind of lost the plot this week- I´m over 91 again

...struggling with moving stress and trying to make sense of life! We are one day into the two day move and then I have four full days before I fly to Australia. Four days to organise lots of paperwork, clothes, packing stuff, say goodbye to friends, buy presents for teachers, clean the apartment, tie up loose ends etc etc!

I did regain control today, which makes me proud- at least I know that I can get back on the wagon when I fall off.

Stay tuned for me getting below 9-0 kilos soon! X

Saturday, 24 July 2010

90.6 kilos Photos....




















I am not fishing for comments, but as discussed in my previous post, I look at these photos and think ergh. 16 kilos (or more) of flab to go.




Friday, 23 July 2010

Time for new progress photos

I will get my daughter to take some photos later today :), its definitely time since the last ones which were 7 kilos ago.

It´s funny and I don´t know if anyone else feels this way but when I look at myself in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window, I actually think I look ok (!, hey babe!) and then when I see photos of myself I feel that I look so ugly, so fat. Somehow the photos seem to capture my worst fat- millisecond... I am going out tomorrow night with friends and there will be lots of snap happy people there who want to put photos on facebook and I am going to do my best to avoid the cameras, just to avoid shattering any illusion I may have of myself "looking good". There is one guy in particular who has an SLR camera and likes taking close up shots of people and I am going to just have to tell him no!!

Is it wrong that I want to retain the image in my head of myself and not be confronted by a photo of the reality?


Thursday, 22 July 2010

199 pounds!

That´s a nice milestone that I reached this week - and so close to being under 90 kilos- for me, this is going to be important in my mind- I think I will feel less "fat"- crazy though as I already know that I am less fat from the way my clothes fit. I am wearing a lot of summer clothes that I haven´t worn for three years- the clothes I wore in 2008 when I was putting on weight (a lot of it), not the clothes from 2006/07 when my weight was in the 70 kilos range- but I still have all those clothes :)

I don´t believe in getting rid of small clothes - I couldn´t afford to! I am donating the fat clothes now to charity- all the maternity wear is gone as well... but as money is tight, I am very glad to have a range of sizes now to choose from as I go down... It´s great discovering old favourites again and things I forgot I had- I love shopping my wardrobe!

I will be interested to see if my foot size changes at all after another 16 kilos- or maybe still same size, but just less puffy.